I've Seen Lovers Dance
by Morghen
Summary: "What they don't understand is that I choose to ignore it because it is oh, so much easier that way -so much easier to be oblivious to the fact that the love of my life is murdering me." Songfic about James/Lily from James' pov.


_**"You know that I can't see**_

_**The damaged marking now**_

_**From the corner of my eyes**_

_**When this is all stretched out**_

_**To the wall and their lips are**_

_**Shooing out at me"**_

True love is worth fighting for, right? What if it was killing someone? Would it still be worth it? If you answered yes, then finally someone agrees with me! I wish people would realize that I don't care if my love will be my demise -I'm still going to love that redhead with everything I that I possess. Yes, every rejection, every insult, every "Go away, Potter!" feels like an ice pick is hacking away at my heart and removing piece by piece, little by little, the life and happiness from me -I know that. Everyone sees it -everyone tells me what this chase is doing to me. What they don't understand is that I _choose _to ignore it because it is oh, so much _easier _that way -so much easier to be oblivious to the fact that the love of my life is murdering me.

**_"And as I look I see the cracks below,_**

**_And I see myself fall into them,_**

**_And I see what I've been running from,_**

**_And I just don't understand how you're gone,_**

**_How could you do this to me?"_**

I'm not stupid -I know better than to just keep running after Lily. I realize that I set myself up just to fall. I can't help it, though -I'm not able to stop.

We were getting along as friends, well sort of, so that was a start. But then, yesterday things turned for the worse…

_**"It's all been opened up**_

_**As wide as it can go**_

_**Still your lips are shooing out at me**_

_**You knew that I can hear every word**_

_**You shout at the top of your lungs"**_

"_Can't you see, Lily? Can't you see how much I love you? That my heart is friggin' opened wide for you?" I shouted at her, fighting back the tears that were on the verge of falling. _

"_Potter, I never asked to be the object of your affection! I like Amos, not you -it is not my fault that you can't handle moving on!" she snapped at me, her cheeks turning a furious shade of red._

"_Can you just tell me something? What the hell does Diggory possibly have that I don't? I mean, he is a Hufflepuff!" I questioned her._

_Lily's brow scrunched with anger as her green eyes widened. "Urgh! See, that's what I'm talking about! You are so damn arrogant and think that you are something special! It doesn't even matter what Amos has and you don't -all that matters is that you get it in your head that I -HATE- YOU! I tried to be your friend but, in all honest truth, I cringe at the thought of you!"_

**_And as I look I see the cracks below,_**

**_And I see myself fall into them,_**

**_And I see what I've been running from,_**

**_And I just don't understand how you're gone,_**

**_How could you do this to me?_**

After that, most normal people would move on -but I've never claimed that I am normal. This was another one of those times that it is easier for me just to turn a blind eye to the throbbing of my heart. If I don't acknowledge what she said, then it seems like she isn't out of my reach. I know that I'm just going to be hurt over and over again but, like I mentioned before, it doesn't matter to me -without Lily, I don't need my heart.

**_I've seen lovers dance_**

**_And I was under the impression_**

**_That you felt the same way, too_**

**_That you felt the same way, too_**

**_That you felt the same way, too_**

**_I've seen lovers dancing in windows_**

**_I've seen lovers dancing_**

**_I've seen lovers dancing in windows_**

**_I've seen lovers dancing_**

**_I've seen lovers dancing in windows_**

**_I've seen lovers dance _**

The one thing that I don't and can't understand is why she did this. I mean, we were getting to be close friends -I thought that she might have actually been warming up to me. I guess I was wrong. I know that if Lily truly loved me, she wouldn't treat me like this. I've seen people who were in love -that is nothing like the way Lily and I act. But, even if I admit that, I still think that we could be like those people -maybe not someday soon but, still, someday.

**The lyrics are from "The Wordless" by Cinematic Sunrise. Go check them out 'cause Craig Owens is a god. **

**:D**

**This is my first fic in the first person and I hope it went okay. I feel like it shows what James is thinking better than the original story that I had done in third person. Reviews are highly appreciated.**

**Thanks mew for being a siriusly awesome beta! That joke will siriusly NEVER get old.**

**:P  
**


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